A Fine Line

The analogy I thought of the other day was that the etiquette in the dojo should feel like a very firm hug. Sometimes it can feel lax, like no one is really thinking about it, and this, as far as the analogy goes, feels like one of those halfway hugs. The kind where the person sticks their rear-end as far away as possible, and just barely puts their arms around you lacking the warmth and the comfort that's inherent in a hug.

Then there are other dojos where the etiquette feels more like a choke hold. Certainly people are thinking about the etiquette, but the etiquette becomes a kind of affectation that can be oppressive. This is like a hug that feels as if someone is trying to prove something, show how strong they are, and you feel your ribs creak during the process. Maybe this is too intimate for me and makes the hug feel either aggressive or creepy; not what I imagine the nature of a hug to be. 

Neither of these kinds of hugs convey what a hug wants to convey. A true feeling of warmth, of caring and of kindness without being overly intimate.  The etiquette at the dojo should feel firm, full and complete giving students comfort and security, without becoming self-serving, abusive or invasive. The etiquette at the dojo should surround the students, fill every nook and cranny of the dojo without ever becoming overbearing, just like a good hug.