Thursday, April 30, 2009
An Interesting Problem
Maybe problem is the wrong word. Tonight a picture fell off the wall at the dojo, and it's plate glass shattered all over the entryway hall. The wind was howling through the dojo tonight, and just as we were bowing out we heard this smash. After class I went out and started cleaning up the mess, and somehow I made it through the entire process without being asked once if I needed help. Of course I don't mind cleaning up broken glass, I built the dojo I can certainly clean it up, but as I was cleaning up I was remembering my teacher, and how I would have never been able to just back idly as he cleaned something up. I was proud for all of a second as I told myself that they've never been trained to "scrape." I've never encouraged them in this way and in a way it's a good thing. But I couldn't help feeling a little empty knowing that they had no idea this was impolite to let their teacher clean this mess up. And then as I thought about it further I felt even emptier knowing that I had to tell them what to do. I knew that the dojo had to change, and that I was the unfortunate facilitator of that change.
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Hi Mike,
ReplyDeleteIn general, not just at the dojo, it would be polite for the students to step up and do the task because they want to help the person they respect, but the dojo can be a weird place. Sometimes things you already know from the rest of your life apply, and sometimes there are special ways of doing things that someone has to teach you. Who knows what was going on in their heads. Maybe they thought that picture was special to you since you started attending to it yourself and they didn't want to interfere with you handling your stuff. Their actions might not necessarily mean they were impolite, maybe they were too deferential.
I guess I'm saying that this doesn't have to be interpreted as a failure on anybody's part. They would probably be happy to act in the way you would like them to act. Somebody just needs to let them know.
Don L
Agreed, and I realize that I just need to tell them. But as you know, it's a profoundly strange moment to have to tell a bunch of grown adults that they need to be deferential to me because that's what the art dictates. It couldn't feel more contrived or disingenuous.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, I can't pretend to understand another persons motives, my only point was to write about this strange moment. I'm sure you're right that they didn't know what they were supposed to do.
Yes, I know, it is strange, indeed. The only thing I get as a consolation (for doing the uncomfortable act of telling adults the rules) is that it works. The students seem to want to do it right, and seem happy and grateful to be directed in the right direction. I'm hoping that once they see some examples of what I mean, they can generalize it.
ReplyDeleteThe other day we had a few minutes before class started and one of the newer students asked what he could clean. So, now he is over the first hump, knowing it is okay to initiate an action to take care of the dojo. As time passes and he sees me and other people cleaning up, he will know specifically what to do and how to do it. I hope.
Don L